Kate pushed open the door to Elena's room. An empty wine glass sat on her bedside table and tangled sheets spoke of her restlessness. She sat down on the edge of her bed. It was Thursday afternoon and Elena still hadn't surfaced. "Honey," she shook her shoulder. "Lains, wake up."
She hadn't told Elena that she was taking the extra days off before Jon and Richie's arrival hoping she could catch her off guard. They were coming in Sunday night and she was hoping she could get Elena to talk to her a bit. Maybe she could drag her out shopping for something special to wear for when the guys got home. She shook her shoulder again with a sigh. "Elena, wake up."
Eyes cracked open and glanced blurrily to the body sitting on the bed, "Don't wanna Katydid.. come back later." She turned over to let the stuff coursing through her blood lull her back into dreamless sleep.
"Lains it's two in the afternoon. You need to get up, hon."
Elena groaned and pushed up before rubbing her bloodshot eyes. "Not like I have anything to do today Katy. Whats up?" She leaned back and sighed knowing if Kate wanted her up she was just gonna have to be up.
"Well, I took a few extra days off. I figured we could hit up some stores. Shop and find something pretty and or sexy. Do some food shopping, that sort of thing. Get the house ready for the mini-break the guys are going to have."
"That's days away Katy." She turned her dull brown gaze onto Kate’s face full force. "That's not why you're in here. What gives?"
Kate stood up and lifted the wine glass. "I'm worried about you, Lains," she sighed. "I did a trash run and nearly killed myself with how many bottles were in the bag to go out." She paced to the door, crossing her arms with the wine glass tucked into her chest.
One shapely shoulder shrugged, "It's just wine Katydid."
"A bottle a night isn't just wine, Lains."
Elena pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. "It helps me sleep Kate. It helps ok? I'll be fine when Richie gets back."
Setting the glass on the table outside the room, she sat back on the bed. "Maybe it would help if you talked about it." She flicked a strand of her dark hair over her shoulder.
"I gotta be strong, simple as that. I can't let it beat me. Ok so I need some help sleeping, but right now I don't feel safe, and well it helps. I know you what you think. Gawd, you think I'm getting too wrapped in Richie. Yes you are, I can see it in your eyes girlfriend, but you don't get how safe he makes me feel." She paused for a moment as she collected her thoughts.
"When Richie is around I feel safe, secure, I Know no one can hurt me, not like that guy tried too. When he's gone it’s too easy to remember the smells, the sounds, the fear, so I drink to sleep. I gotta stay strong Katy. Richie worries so much ya know? I gotta stay strong."
"But at what cost? Blocking all that out with wine and sleeping pills? I know that's what you're doing. It's not good for you or your body...hell, Lains. It's not good for any part of you." She stood up and flicked the shade to her bedroom open, letting the midday sun into the cave of a room. "Richie wouldn't want that. And you focusing on Richie as your savior don’t do anyone any favors."
Elena sighed softly and shook her head, "It's not that he's my savior, although in some odd ways he is, he did save me from being raped. It's just, when he’s around well he's bigger than life, and just so funny. I just feel safer Kate. He doesn’t act like I’m some injured piece of broken humanity. It helps keep me centered. Maybe its not handling it case book style, but it works for me. If it works for me isn’t that all that matters?" She tilted her head and sighed. "I just don’t like the bad dreams, and I never get those unless I'm alone."
She turned around and leaned against the window. "Because you're not dealing with it around Richie, don't you see that? Closing it off doesn't heal it up, it only covers it up. I've seen this kind of thing too many times, Lains. I don't want you to go down that road." She sat back down on her bed. "Richie's not going to be here a lot of the time, honey."
Elena slid from the bed and moved to the closet, "If I open it up and let it over run me what good does that do Kate?? I'll be a blubbering mass on the floor, which won’t be good for anyone." She pulled a pair of jeans and one of Richie's tee-shirts from the closet. "But you tell me what you think I should do and I'll do it, or well try too."
"Honey, I'm not trying to tell you how to do anything. I just want to help you get better. Those fears will just keep getting bigger if you ignore them or medicate them away."
She buttoned her jeans after slipping them on then pulled on her tee-shirt, a gentle sigh whispering over her lips. "I’m not avoiding it Kate. A man tried to rape me, scared the living shit out of me. Sometimes I can still smell his way too sweet cologne or hear his voice. I close my eyes and I see that hall. It happened. But ya know what was worse? It hurt someone I love, he couldn't touch me for days, he was afraid of hurting me Kate."
She walked over and sat by her friend, shoulders slumping as that thought circled her brain. "I can stand just about everything, but the dreams are always darker and scarier, cuz in the dreams Richie doesn’t get there in time. But Katy, it will be ok. For me, at least, my answer does for now lie in the normalness I have with Richie, and if he ends up afraid of hurting me again I don’t know what I'll do."
"Nooo," she gripped Elena's hands. "Honey, Richie loves you. I can see that now. I mean I was shocked as hell when you guys sprung the whole wedding thing on me, but it doesn't take a genius to see that the boy is positively smitten with you." She sighed. "Don't hide everything from him. It's no way to start a marriage, darlin'. You'd be mad as hell if he kept something like this from you."
Elena studied her friend and nodded. "Yeah I know, I just worry I guess. You're right though, I have to tell him, and I will. I just pray he understands."
"Don't underestimate him. He may be a guy...and an overprotective one at that, but he's still your husband. He's going to love you no matter what. And yes he had a bit of trouble in the beginning...after the attack, but honey any guy would. They are trained from birth half the time to do the protecting. When they lose that power, they go a little wonky. He worked himself past it." She rolled her eyes, "and how by the level of busy this bed and that tissue paper wall gets."
Elena's brow arched, "there’s another bed just as busy these days sister." She laughed as she stood, "Now I heard something bout shopping? Let’s go find something to blow their socks off when they get home."
Ignoring that comment Kate stood. "Shopping sounds like an excellent plan."
