Chapter 35

Kate sat back in her chair, laid a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes. Please, God, she hoped she'd made the right decision.

Jon pushed himself off the wall. Her exhaustion was evident in the utter defeat that seemed to drive her lower into the overstuffed chair. Reaching out, he silently kneaded her shoulders taking her soft sigh as consent he slid his fingers along the tight muscles of her neck and back down along her slight shoulders. She even seemed smaller and more fragile from the last time he’d seen her. Her hair was falling out of a lopsided ponytail, so he tugged on the soft cloth rubber band.

When he heard the low moan, he had to ease away from the chair a bit to accommodate the swell of his cock. Her silky fire of her hair slid around his fingers, the curls twisted in golden hues of red and the richest mahogany. "You just saved his life Kate." His voice grew softer, as the scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils.

"Well at least I saved someone tonight," she muttered, and arched into his touch. As his fingers gentled into the nape of her neck and up into the base of her skull, she was tempted to find a little solace in his arms. It had only been a little over a week since she’d last found herself in his company, but the urge to curl into him was overwhelming.

He widened his massage, drawing the tension up and away from her even as he wanted to draw it back, just so he could start all over again. Touching this woman was all he’d been able to dream about most nights. How many nights had he woken with just this shade of red burned into his memory as it slid across his chest? The party scene was beginning to bore him and life on the road had its place, but each night at home…alone had been a study in madness. He could have any woman he wanted, but it was this one that haunted him. This one that he wanted. "Bad day at work, huh?"

The night’s horrors flashed into her head for a moment.

Frenzied shouts filled the ER. They’d gotten the call for multiple traumas, but the reality of it never matches up to what you prepare for. Paramedics rolled in patient after patient. As soon as a gurney was empty they were out looking for another.

“It was a fucking bus,” she heard Molly say.

“What?” Kate’s head swiveled to hear what was going on.

“Lucas told me it was a school bus colliding with a public transport bus.”

“Fuck,” she said and took the next trauma patient. Her fingers were rock steady as she listened to Stacy, one of her favorite medics, give the rundown of injuries. They’d stayed steady until the sweet little seven year old started slipping away from her.

Too small…too fragile…nothing she did helped. As useless as the innocent blood that wouldn’t stop pumping from her little body. The mother, holding her child closer, even as her little head lolled back, broken and lifeless. The little blond cap of curls crushed and matted with—

She shoved the memories back into the little corner she’d created her first year of med school and stood. "You don't want to hear about that, Sugar." His eyes met hers, kindness and lust swirling in the intriguing blue eyes. He didn’t belong in her world. His was a world of parties and laughter, a new city every night and a new woman in each city. She covered the beat of awareness with a stretch, letting the yawn pop her jaw.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn’t want to know." His eyes drifted down to the slashes of stains he probably didn’t want to know about. The hollowness to her eyes let him know that it was more than just blood and sweat. "Tell me about it,” he said quietly, reaching for her hand. Forcing a contact she might not be ready for, but taking the chance anyway. “I know a shit head who thought a bottle would erase demons once upon a time, believe me…talking is much better."

She searched his summer sky eyes, part of her wanted to let go…to lean. She opened her mouth and heard herself say, "Let me take a quick shower before I play hostess okay? I need to get those images out of my head for a few minutes." She twined a finger around his pinkie. "Thanks though."

Their fingers slowly detangled as he tucked his hands behind his head. He was pretty sure he’d used up his allotment of patience getting a record deal, but Kate was going to test him. "Go ahead, I'll just make myself at home here on the couch." He sat and sprawled out, contentedly watching her back her way into the bathroom.

She tried not to stare at the long, lean length of him taking up her couch. From the pointy toed boots to the skinny jeans that molded to him like a second skin, add in a comfortable t-shirt that made her think of lazy Sundays and she was toast. Dammit, she didn't have the time for a man like him. "I'll be back," she said and forced her eyes away from him.

He grinned, picturing her wiggling out of the shapeless scrubs. She was anything but shapeless…well, what he remembered of her was damn delicious. "Not going anywhere Katy. Enjoy that shower."

She hiked up the shirt as she headed for the bathroom, leaving a slice of warm, smooth back in her wake, before she shut the door. Jon let his head tip back, hoping he could get some of the blood flow back into the head on his shoulders. Even just a tiny bit of her porcelain skin was enough to—he groaned. Okay, time to think about something else.

If Kate was any indication of how rough the night was going to be, he might have to face a distraught guitarist in London. He wasn’t sure he could handle Richie falling back into the dark mood he’d been in for the last few weeks. Kate had been a hard sell with just Elena’s whereabouts, what kind of welcome was Richie going to get?

The sound of the shower drove him right back into the apartment and a memory of Kate’s body pressed against him that fateful morning. Damn what WAS it about her that had him so hot he couldn’t think straight?

He shook his head, but it was too late. Images of Kate on top of him, a flash of leg when she stole that blanket to hide herself, her near hysteria as they both realized they remembered nothing of the night before. He wanted her. It was as simple and as uncomplicated as it could get in his mind, but nothing seemed to be simple when it came to Kate.

He knew first impressions were important and he’d seriously screwed the pooch when it came to introducing himself. Cocky and drunk weren’t a great combo, but he’d certainly gone out of his way to show her that guy wasn’t the real deal. All he knew was he wanted to be around her. Even when she blasted him with that icy disdain, he wanted more of her. Unsure if that was the definition of masochism he set that unruly thought aside and recrossed his ankles.

Kate came back into the room, uneasily pleased that he was still lounging on her furniture. She tugged at the men’s boxer shorts and tank-top she slept in, wondering if she should rethink the outfit, but too tired to actually care she dropped onto her favorite chair and sipped at her beer again. "Hey."

"Hey there yourself," he said and swung his legs around until he was sitting forward, closer to her. "Now you look more like the Kate I remember."

"I don’t think you've seen me in my pj's, Sugar. In fact, my Mama would be horrified that I even came out in this outfit but my brain hurts too much to be polite tonight."

"Well what Mama don’t know won't hurt her…besides I LIKE this look on you.” He tugged at the low ponytail she’d pulled her wet hair into. “What’s goin’ on, Katy? I mean, yeah you are doing those insane shifts you talked about a couple weeks ago, but I get a feeling there’s more to it?" Jon studied her quietly a moment, "What's really wearing you down?"

She looked away from the easy comfort he was offering. Keeping her gaze on her beer, she peeled at the label. "Some nights are just a little harder than others, Jon.” She looked up quickly, smiling as much as she could manage. “Nothing that needs to be in your head. No one should have to see what I saw tonight."

He stood, taking the option away from her he quickly climbed behind her, opened his legs and settled her back against him. He folded an arm around her shoulders, holding onto the soft skin that curved from the sleeveless shirt. She was soft and fresh, practically vibrating with nerves as he curled her into him. "Talk to me, Katy. What do you have to lose?"

She let her head tip back, every muscle worked against his calming touch. But when he didn’t take it any farther she finally let herself ease into him. "I lost one tonight," she said with a trembly sigh. "Sometimes it's not so bad, but when you lose one at the end of the night, it just sticks." Especially when it was a kid, she finished silently.

“Oh baby,” he sighed, pulling her closer. "I’m sure you did all you could.” When she resisted a little, he kept the pressure even and easy, but not letting her go.

Her shoulders stiffened. She didn't want it to feel good, she didn't want him to take care of her, but when the first tear plopped on her hand she just sighed. "No one should have to die like that," she said brokenly. “She was so…” she sucked back the words. No, he didn’t need to know it was a kid. It was enough that she knew. Enough that she had to live with it.

He slipped his other arm around her middle, lowering his legs until she was curled into only him. He turned her in his arms, dying a little inside as her tears dripped down his neck. "C’mon let it out, Katy."

She tried not to. She tried to be strong, but his shoulders looked far too inviting. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her cheek against the worn suede of his jacket and let the tears come. She usually saved her crying jags for the shower where no one could hear her, but it felt so good to be held.

He held her tight, her body feeling so right in his arms and let her cry the hurt away. "It’ll be ok Katy.” The storm of a strong woman’s tears tore him down to the basest of emotions. He wanted to take every bit of the pain away.

When she finally lifted her head, the soft curls of his hair brushed against her nose. The heady mix of man, musk and cigarettes surrounded her, easing her in a way she hadn’t felt since...Well, it had been too long to even compare. She looked down at his shoulder to distract herself from the need to bury her nose deeper into his neck and see just how good he smelled at the long curve of corded nerves. "Shit, I ruined your jacket," she said in a voice still watery with tears.

"What this old thing? Don’t you worry about it,” he rubbed her back in long, slow strokes. “It’s just a coat." He smiled at her reassuringly, "Feeling a bit better?"

She sniffed and laughed. "Yeah, sorry I dumped all that on you.” She eased back, surprised when he didn’t let go, returning to the comfort of his arms for another moment. “Most of it was my patient, but a lot of that was Elena too. She's got me worried and I've been surviving on little to no sleep...and well, you got the brunt end of that deal." She detangled herself with a tiny twinge of regret and stood to grab a tissue. She blew her nose softly and dabbed at her eyes. "Lucky you," she said with a half-laugh.

He flashed a mega watt smile her way. "Anytime," he said, suddenly meaning that completely. "I understand your worry about Elena, though.” He sighed, draping his hands over the chair arms. “Hell, Richie's been drowning in a bottle since she left. I’m not sure he’s even been able to sleep in his room." He tried to keep his tone light, but even he could hear the concern there. Nights spent awake listening to a friend’s voice cursing the four walls didn’t need to be shared, even if it was for bonding purposes. "How is she doing though? You said she was at a party.” His eyebrow quirked. “Kinda thought that meant she was doing ok."

Part of her wanted to hold back. She wasn't used to sharing with anyone...wasn't good at sharing really. "Well, to everyone around her she looks like the life of the party. To me, she's just partying harder to forget him. I hate that he did this to her. Hate that he left her like this," she said harshly.

Jon sighed, his fingers digging into the cushioned folds. "I don't blame ya Katy, but to be honest, I don't know what happened. The only thing I can tell you is that he’s not better off. He been drinking every moment he’s awake, won’t sleep in his room…hell he’s always been able to lose himself in the music and he’s even lost that." His voice grew softer, "I tried talking to him and nothing seemed to help." He wanted to explain more, but wasn't sure how to, or what it could do to allay her anger. "He was in bad shape Kate, regret ate at him and he took the bottle as his way out."

She slid a hand over his, understanding loyalty and wanting to make things better. "I understand. Seems like the two of them are made for each other. Elena's doing almost the same thing." She sighed and stood again, not sure where to put herself. "Want a beer?"

He smiled as he stood. "Sure, thanks."

She popped the tops on two more Corona's, stuffing lime in both longnecks. "You wanna watch a movie or something to kill the time before they get back?" She handed him a beer and licked lime juice off the pad of her thumb.

He took the beer, his eyes dropping to the innocent flick of her tongue. He quickly lifted the beer to his lips, but it was too late. The crisp hops were no replacement for that mouth. "A movie sounds good,” he took another deep swallow covering the groan with a gulp when she did the same. The way her tongue dipped into the bottle, savoring the lime had his cock so hard and at the ready, he shrugged out of his coat and folded it over his arm to hide his problem. “Uh,” he cleared his throat. She wasn’t looking for a hook up tonight, no matter how much he wanted it. “We can both relax a bit."

She stood, “Let me take your jacket.” He tried to keep it close, but she tugged it away. “C’mon, it’s going to be awhile and it’s hot as hell in here.”

He rose, tugging at his t-shirt and smiling. "So what’s the movie?" he called out.

She padded back into the living room. "I've got National Lampoon's European Vacation," she flicked through video-tapes, "The Goonies, or Rambo 2."

His first instinct was to go for the Rambo flick. Like all men, he liked action movies and hadn’t had the time to see the newest installation in the Stallone arsenal, but he thought of the blood and shook his head. He was absolutely sure she’d had enough of that tonight. "How about, Vacation? If it’s got Chase in it, it’s gotta be good for a laugh or two at least."
She loaded the VCR and dropped onto the couch next to him. About fifteen minutes into the movie her body was slanting toward his and she welcomed the way he hauled her in and settled her against his chest. Five minutes later she only heard the voices of the movie and finally nothing.

Sleep crept in as he breathed in the scent of soap and a warm woman. To hold a woman with no other motive but comfort was a new thing for him. He smiled, it didn’t seem so bad at all.